Mending Journey

God has had me on a mending journey for a couple of years now and I know that being led to the (In)courage group on FB was God's doing. Everything works together for good with God. So many things that He has shown me are being reconfirmed through reading the book Mended.

There is a song called Mercy Rewrote My Life. This is a work of God, the author and finisher, to rewrite our lives that have been sin scarred.
I know I am a sinner and have made wrong choices, but its the sins that have been done to me that have left deep scars that I have had a difficult time healing from.

Psalm 139:23-24  Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
 And see if [there be any] wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

I realize the past has held me back. God showed me in Psalm 139 that wicked way, according to the concordance,  meant pain, sorrow or idol. I realize I have made my fear of being hurt again bigger than God. Anything that stands between me and God is an idol. I heed and yield to my fears and hurts instead of following God's leading. As Lot's wife looks back and becomes a pillar of salt, I look back and am immobilized by fear. The past though it has been painful, is familiar to me. It is what I have known. The future and God's ways are frightening to me. His ways are not my ways, and the fear of the unknown paralyzes me. So I stick to the familiar even though it keeps me bound.

God is in the redeeming business. Why hold onto the broken pieces, allowing them to continue to cut me and cause me to bleed over and over? I need Mercy to rewrite my life. I need to release those broken shards into God's mending hands. I cannot do this on my own. He can, with His healing love, take the sharp pieces and tenderly place them in a design that will serve a purpose. I have to concentrate on the fact that He loves me and his purpose is a good one. His design for me is a redeeming one. Trust in His love.

Edited to add this thought:
Those last four words "trust in His love" came back to me as I was about to go to bed. The one thing I do know and believe without doubt, is His love for me. Life may not have gone the way I wanted it to. The future may have me scared, but I do trust in His love for me. It is fact. I don't really question it because of all that He has done for me. 
I forget where to focus. I think of the past and future. I think of people, either in comparison, or in fear of getting hurt. I think of the trials. What I forget to do is think on His love.
I have that one thing to stand on. It is a foundation to build on and move forward. I can stand on the fact of His love toward me, and let that be my anchor.

         

			That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
			May be able to comprehend with all saints what [is] the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
			And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
			Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
			Unto him [be] glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.