Saturday, July 27, 2013

Beyond the Woods- Emotional healing and the Power of God

I have been linking up with Creative Christian Mama at her Whatever Weekend link up with my Healthy Living blog, but decided to link up from here today instead.

So about a year ago I started with brokenness, went on to mending and now I feel like I am at a point where I am out of the woods of hurts and healing. Like I am on the edge of the woods, entering the clearing. Its different here because I feel stronger. I feel like I have a new beginning but I am a bit cautious. I step out and take a chance but a little leery to go out too far. Life sometimes feels like it will never change and sometimes I do glance back. Sometimes something comes up to bring its usual sting from the past but it doesn't debilitate as it once did.
God has walked me through and brought me to this moment. He has held my hand. He has picked me up after I fell, too many times to count. When my heart hurt He was there whispering encouragement. Keep walking. Get up again. Keep going! His love carries us through.

Really? After all these years, I can have a new beginning? At forty, suddenly life begins again?

God answers "Behold, I make all things new."

2 Cor. 5:17 Therefore if any man [be] in Christ, [he is] a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Don't believe the lies that it's too late. That nothing will change. I just looked back on previous posts here on this blog and I see the progression of healing. I am overwhelmed by God's grace toward me. I am amazed by His overwhelming, unending love for me. It's the same love He feels for you. The same healing he offers to you.

Here I am, I felt like it was too late, but yet God redeems the time. God redeems the time.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

God has to be my source

God has to be my source. He is my only strength and the one who justifies.  I would be so lost without Him.

Staff may judge me at work. Even after working with some for years, I realize they just don't know me. On the other hand I realize they are unable to think without negativity because they are not free. Once Jesus comes in and frees you, your mind becomes free also. You no longer have to be bogged down with the past.You no longer have to be confined by your disappointments and hurts.
I am good as long as I keep going with God.

Got this from TGIF, Today God Is First

Sunday, June 30, 2013

God's guiding hand

My apologies, I haven't written much here lately. God has me on a growing, and healing journey that has lead me to a promotion at work and one to get a handle on my health.
I have been on a journey lately regarding my health and started a blog for it. That's where my time and energy has been spent recently. Well truth be told I had started the blog a while back but never did much with it until now. I have revisited and revised it.
 As far as my health it has been one step forward and three steps back. I learn something new each day and sometimes it feels as though I will never get a handle on it.

I am grateful for God's leading. I am a little overwhelmed at the moment with my promotion and have to take things day by day. I am learning and as with everything, I really have to rely heavily on God to get me through. I will make it.
God told me once that I would be doing more at my workplace. I was reluctant to believe it partly because I didn't really want the responsibility. As a manager I have to oversee the workings of the home, the workers and the clients we serve. I love the clients like family. They are the main reason I took the position.

Hopefully I will get to a place where I  will feel some semblance of normalcy and routine but so far at work and with my healthy eating choices its been trial and error. Nothing has been routine or normal.

God's advice is not to worry about tomorrow, today is enough to deal with. That is why he only gave us one day at a time. We couldn't handle more.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Perfecting out hearts toward God -Our Weakness, His Strength

I have gotten behind on my reading of Mended. I will be catching up tomorrow.
God has been good and is working in my life in different ways.

This verse hit me this week.

2 chron 16:9  For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of [them] whose heart [is] perfect toward him...

 I had a friend say that our perfection is God's love in our hearts. It's not about us what we do or what we say.
I had to minister at a convalescent home last week and I felt like I was just rambling but gave a little of a testimony on how God worked in my marriage. I felt like what I said was just I didn't think it was all that powerful or significant what I said. and I was shaking like a leaf. I felt like a weakling and was a little embarrassed, but the person I do the ministry with said that she felt the anointing of  God when I spoke. Which took me by surprise.
It's funny how I perceived things and it turned out to be just the opposite. I think it's proof that the Devil wants to keep us feeling like we have no impact and no power as Christians. It's also proof of the verse...

 2 Cor. 12:9-10  And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

It made me reflect on the verse from 2 chronicles again. Perfecting out hearts toward God to me means having that childlike faith. The type that has a quiet confidence in our Daddy God. The one that unquestioningly yields to God's authority, trusts in his promises, and just knows without a doubt that God is and the rewarder of  them that diligently seek Him. To know nothing but Christ (1Cor 2:2). Without pride in us, but proud of God and His strength.

I remember working in childcare and overhearing kids boasting of their father's strength, intelligence, and ability to handle anything. " My dad  is stronger than your dad" kind of boasting. That is the childlike faith in God, I am talking about.

  "I know my Daddy God can do it" kind of thinking is what he desires. Just read that 2 chronicles verse again. It says God searches to and fro for someone to have that kind of faith where God can prove His strength. Show Himself strong. It doesn't say that we have to show ourselves strong.

His strength is made perfect in our weakness. We aren't perfect but God is. We are weak vessels, but God...

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Resisting the rewrite

Once again what God has been speaking to me about has been reconfirmed through different things. One being chapter 18 "Sketched" from the book Mended by Angie Smith.
 I was just writing in my spiritual journal about my always trying to control my life. I thought about how God refers to us as sheep and he the Shepherd. I have resisted that idea of being likened to a seemingly mindless and stubborn animal who doesn't know what to do or where to go without someone telling it what to do.
I have considered myself to be a fairly intelligent person who has a creative knack for figuring things out. I am the one people come to when something breaks or they don't know how to work something. I just have this knack for figuring it out.
So to think of myself in a way that says I can do nothing without someone else's help... well I guess it prickles in my pride side.
I also have used fear as an excuse to try to do it my way. Cue Frank Sinatra.
If I don't know what's ahead I tend to dig in my heels and resist the whole way.
Stubborn. So yea a sheep! Bah Bah Bah!

 God has challenged me to a wrestling match of sorts for the last few years. I resist, I move in the opposite direction and only when He really hits hard do I stop to take a breath. Stubborn . Bah, bah!

The rod and staff he carries can hurt quite a bit but the lessons don't sink in the first time around.
I finally capitulated on Sunday at church and told God I would be his sheep. Then I read chapter 18. Reconfirming what God had spoken to my heart already.

In chapter 18 Angie talks about trying to sketch her own life. She had to go speak in my language. I love to draw, paint, crochet,etc ...If it's creative I will try it. So this just jumped off the page for me.
I have always been a dreamer and dreamed of my life and how I wanted it to be. Perfect of course. Perfect marriage, perfect family...My sketch, my dreams, my plans. Get the picture?


I talked before about God being the author and finisher of my life. I have never had control of my life I just wanted to feel like I did. I keep resisting, then God  to do some serious editing, and I try to do my own rewrite again, more editing...

Its a tiring cycle and it's time to hand over the pen. It's time to submit and give up my plans. It's time to admit I am just a sheep.

"I just want to be a sheep, bah, bah, bah, bah!"

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Meet Him at the shore of forgiveness

This week Chapters 13 an 14 spoke the loudest to me in the book Mended by Angie Smith.

Peter was a man of action and tended to speak first and think later.
Yes I am a good one to act like that. I have put my foot in my mouth too many times to trust myself to speak my mind first thing. I tend to stay silent and not say anything at all, or until well after the fact when it's not relevant.
There were many times that I have acted first and suffered the consequences for it later. Like Peter ready to walk out on water without thinking to only panic after I realize "Yikes, them waves are way over my head". Those were early learned lessons but now I have gone to the opposite end of the spectrum and am too tentative when it comes to following God's lead. I sometimes feel I have gone too far and God can't use me. I have made too many mistakes that others around me have seen and I am the last one they should look to as an example of Christ. Who am I to speak to others about Christ when I am such a horrible example?

So I come back for forgiveness time and again only to falter again, and so on...

I guess if nothing else I am an example of God's longsuffering. His patience with me is just truly amazing.
Will I someday have the boldness and faith of Peter after Pentecost? I guess I need to get to that place where I meet Jesus back on the shore of forgiveness first.

John 21:15-19
So when they had dined, Jesus saith to Simon Peter, Simon, [son] of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my lambs.
 He saith to him again the second time, Simon, [son] of Jonas, lovest thou me? He saith unto him, Yea, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep.
 He saith unto him the third time, Simon, [son] of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep...
"Follow Me"

What was the significance of asking three times? Jesus was letting Peter know that each denial that Peter spoke was now replaced with Love. :Love forgives all. A clean slate is offered. Fresh and new creature step out and follow Him.